Build Your Confidence In a Hobby and You'll Be Confident in Dating.

That's it. That's the title of this post. You read it and you know 95% of this post. The other words are just details.

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"You gotta talk to 10 women a day and ask 5 of them out to build your confidence."

Eeehhhhh not so much. And not so fast!

Women enjoy the company of men who aren't 100% in their face. What's the best way to not be emotionally and physically attached to a woman 1000% of the time?

Work on a hobby. It doesn't even matter what!

Women love and LOVE men who can focus on a hobby, get deep into it, and become an expert in some aspect of it. You paint Warhammer figurines? Tell me what you like about it. You do yo-yo tricks? I've never seen one, so could you show me? Oh, cool, you make origami animals? Can you teach me to make a penguin? I love penguins.

Let me give you an example.

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One of my friends played Magic cards very competitively. He was featured on camera multiple times, in the Legacy format, and one of his decks what the talk of the town at a huge tournament, I think a Grand Prix, back in the day.

Several years before that, he met his future wife at a Magic weekly tournament (you find a card shop and grind away every week for the big tournaments.) And he -

Actually, it was his future wife who met him.

She saw him at the card shop grinding away, tuning his deck. She sat down, told him she was interested in playing Magic cards. (She was not.) He taught her how to play, gave her an easy deck (Burn), and they played together.

She told him after they married that she played Magic with him to meet him and get to know him.

So that worked out! They got married and had a kid. And she won bigger prizes than he ever did LOL.

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This is why finding any hobby works.

1. You have stuff to talk about. Women don't care what you talk about. Seriously. They care who you are, so they listen to how you talk about your hobby. Why you enjoy it. What or who got you into it. Your philosophy in that hobby, what strategy works. Your philosophy on life. So, you think that - Oh wait! Now we're talking about your personality! Go figure.

2. Women want to see that you can invest time in something deep enough to become an expert at it. Not the top of your field, but deep enough that you know five times more than a casual scrub. Why? Because when shit hits the fan, you need that focus and determination to get out of it. With her! (Because she's married to you and has a kid and a winning Magic record.) And she can tell the casuals from the masters. Anyone can tell.

3. You meet people. I have played magic and I do karaoke. I don't meet dates at those places. But I meet people - and I make friends. I wrote a post and mentioned why you want non-dating women friends. When you make a really good friend, and she's female, and she TRUSTS YOU ... ask her if she knows anyone. Like, cute. You're looking for someone who's funny. Or sweet. The more she trusts you and is safe around you, the more awesome a woman she will meet to you. Because she wants to see her two best friends happy.

4. You have an opportunity to be generous. Let me explain. That first point up there, a woman wants to know your overall philosophy on life. "Hey, so, I play Magic cards, and I make a few cheap decks and run a Magic card tournament after school every week. It teaches the loud kids math, and it helps the autistic kids be social. It's great, and this one kid, he built this weird deck ..." Yo. Guy. You're gonna land a date because you're too goddamned sweet. And you can only find opportunities to be generous when you meet other people.

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Those are the deets, so to speak. Try it. Now! And, most likely, you already have a deep hobby. And now you know how to leverage all the time you put into papier mache statues of Christopher Walken into good conversation! I mean, if you're not too serious about Christopher Walken. Like, he does have bodyguards for a reason you creep...

-T out (and about)

Got a problem talking to women and want advice? Didn't agree with my advice here? Email me at MensDatingWorld at Gmail dot Com.